Isaiah 54:5

Isaiah 54:5 For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.

The last time I wrote the Breads was at the end of December. At that time I was just three weeks away from a 12-month review in court, at which time the judge could put five of my children up for adoption. And I still didn’t have a home or enough income to support my family.

In fact, it seemed like my life was taking a turn for the worse. I was sleeping a few nights at a time on someone’s sofa or floor or in my car. My income was starting to dry up again. I had been turned down by two transitional housing programs. And, worst of all, it was becoming increasingly clear that most of my children were not in very good foster home situations. My two oldest daughters (12 and 16) were desperately unhappy and threatening to run away. The social worker was unable to find a new foster home, and the foster parents repeatedly refused to attend meetings to try to resolve the issues. My daughters broke down in tears every week on our visits. But all I could say was, “Honey, I can’t change this. Only God can. We have to keep trusting Him.”

When I first separated from my abusive husband 3-1/2 years ago, a wonderful Christian sister gave me Isaiah 54:5 to hang onto. “God is your Husband and Provider,” she said. “He won’t forsake you. He’s a better husband than any man could be. Don’t forget that!”

January 15 was the one-year anniversary of my being homeless. A week or so before that, I was driving alone in my van one morning, after a restless night in a very cold house on a very hard floor, when my friend’s words rang in my head. He’s my Husband. God is my Husband.

And something snapped inside me. I got mad. I cried. And I admit it, I yelled at God. "I don't see how you're getting any glory from me still being homeless. I know this was all for a bigger purpose, to prepare me for something else--but I'm done with this, Lord. You're my only Husband. What husband would leave his wife on the streets when He owns all the resources in the universe?? How can I keep telling people how awesome You are if you don’t do anything for me? I refuse to believe you aren’t going to help me. But I need You to do something FAST!"

And, as clear as if He were sitting right next to me, I heard Him ask me, “Do you still trust Me?” “Yes, Lord,” I answered. “I’ve never met a man I could trust, but I know I can trust You. But if You don’t do something, I won’t have much of a testimony to share with people! My reputation is shot. But, for YOUR Name’s sake, please do something!”

And He did. More about that this week. If you are facing something too big, too messy, too painful for you to fix, remember Isaiah 54:5. Hang onto it like a drowning man hangs onto a life preserver. Refuse to stop trusting Him no matter how bad things look. He will not let you down.

Cathleen