Thursday, January 12, 2006

Psalm 139:13 - 14

Psalm 139:13 - 14 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Luke 22:42b “Yet not my will, but yours be done.”

From “God’s Blogs” by Lanny Donoho:

“I love you more than you love yourself. I want you to be more fulfilled than you want yourself to be. And I know how to do that a lot better than you do. If you would let Me lead you, you would be happier than you are when you try to do it yourself. Why don’t you do that?”

This whole concept is where the rebel in me comes out. The Lord has plans for me—good plans. But I have plans, too. I have passions and hopes and dreams, and even though my mind knows that God’s plans are so much better than mine, my gut is afraid to trust in His plans. When I think about relinquishing my dreams in exchange for His, it’s as though I’m on Star Trek and the captain has just called for the deflector shields.

It’s not that I don’t trust Him at all. I do. I give each day to Him, to work in me, to strengthen me, to use me that day. But my day-to-day life isn’t the same as my future, and I don’t know where His future for me will take me.

What I really have trouble understanding is how He wants me to balance earthly gifts with spiritual purpose. He has given me an eye for photography and a way with words and a love of foreign places where people speak in accents and languages that fascinate me. But I don’t see the spiritual purpose in these things. He hasn’t shown me how (or if) He plans for me to use these earthbound gifts for His pleasure. It may be that He has been trying to tell me, but I’ve been too protective of my own dreams to hear His voice.

This struggle between His will and mine is one that I’ve been having for a long time, and it troubles me sometimes. And yet when there’s trouble on Star Trek, they have to let down the deflector shields before the help can come in. I’m going to have to ask the Lord just how I’m supposed to do that.

How are you struggling with the Lord’s will for you? Don’t forget that surrender is never easy. But even as Jesus surrendered to the Father’s will at the cross, our surrender to His will for us will bring the greatest fulfillment.

May we find peace in His will.

Brenda

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