Will you hold me?

Casey – Part 2

During the times when my son, Casey, has suffered seizure episodes or experienced the aura of an episode, he will ask: “Can you hold me?” He will ask this incessantly, even if you are already holding him at the time. Perhaps the hovering aura that something not so good is going to happen prevents him from registering the security of your embrace. Or maybe he keeps asking to ensure that you won’t let go before he’s ready for you to let go. What’s certain is that during this uncertain time (will he have a seizure or not?), he just wants to be held. How could anyone blame him? My heart just breaks as I hold him.

In contrast, I noticed that when he is not affected by seizures, he doesn’t long to be held. He doesn’t ask, “Can you hold me?” In fact, there are times when he doesn’t even want me to touch him. I often try to pray for him while touching his head, and unless I announce and assure him of my intent to touch him, he almost always pushes my hand off of him and backs away. I struggle with his disinterest and lack of desire to be held when I want to hold him. Sometimes it hurts. Hmm…

“Can you hold me?” How many times have I asked the Lord to hold me? When I sense that something not so good is about to happen (or is happening), I always want Him to hold me. And I’d say that I probably even incessantly ask Him to hold me, even if He already is. But are those the only times that I want to be held? Do I push His hand off me and back away when He wants to have an effect in my life but my interests are elsewhere? Does my desire for Him revolve around me or around Him? I believe God regularly asks each of us, “Can I hold you?” I pray we respond “Yes!” every time.

Psalm 27:10 (NLT) Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.

Psalm 63:8 (Message) I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.

Psalm 119:76 (The Message) Oh, love me—and right now!—hold me tight! just the way you promised.

Psalm 139:10 (NKJV) Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.

Jeremiah 31:22 (NLT) How long will you wander, my wayward daughter? For the LORD will cause something new and different to happen--Israel will embrace her God."

Holy Father, Thank You for holding us in all our times of need. We offer our “YES” to You right now and humbly and graciously receive Your embrace when You know we need You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Barb