I Peter 4:11

I have had a good life. I have been blessed by family, friends, jobs, a wonderful God-fearing husband, an awesome dog…I could list the blessings for many weeks. I even had great health. I knew God loved me and He was so good to me. I had a comfortable life w/out much pain or heartache. Then May 5, 2005 came and I lost my baby and a very dear friend of mine. Then on August 5, 2005, I found out I had breast cancer. My comfortable life that I had was no longer comfortable. I questioned myself. I questioned God. I honestly thought God no longer loved me and was punishing me. I really did. I was sick with thinking I had done something that caused this to happen to me. I could have gone on thinking that but God wouldn’t let me. God put in me the desire to search Him and His Word and come to realize that His love for me will never change and that He was getting ready to use me to further His Kingdom.

I think one of the most important things is to search God in all things. Sometimes I search myself more than I search God. God has a purpose for everything that happens in our lives. Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I also think until we come to realize that God is in control of all things, the good and the evil, we will be missing the point of what is going on in our lives. Let our Lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on the harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thout shalt be well. 1 Samuel 16:16

1 Peter 4:11 If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as the ability which God giveth: that God in ALL things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion over for ever and ever. Amen.

My prayer is that our lives become all about God and His Kingdom. I pray that when good and evil come into our lives that we will seek God and His purpose in all of it. My prayer is that we come to the understanding that we “do not” and “cannot” build a highway to the sky. I pray that when trouble comes into our lives that we know God has a reason for it and His love for us is unshakeable. My prayer is that we cling to Him and know He has us in the palm of His hand and will never let us go.

I thank God for revealing Himself to me through this trial and for using me to serve Him and others. What an honor to be used by God. How often do we say, I want to be used by God...I used to say that so flippantly. Do we really want to be used by God if it means losing the comforts of our lives? Do we live our lives and “fit” God into our lives or are we truly living and giving up our lives for Him?

No matter how high a level we feel we are in our relationship with God there is still an infinitely deeper place to go with Him. What does it take to go deeper? Are we willing?

Tammy