Ephesians 2:8-9

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift-- 9 not from works, so that no one can boast.

Titus 3:5 He saved us-- not by works of righteousness that we had done, but according to His mercy, through the washing of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit.

I thank you for your many prayers and words of encouragement this week on the behalf of Angelica. After a wonderful start to life, she was diagnosed with pneumonia on Monday and has continued to deteriorate through the week. She currently is on oxygen levels so high that there is a risk for eye and brain damage and she still is not breathing well. I have spent many hours this week praying by her bedside.

For the first time in my Christian walk, I have found myself wanting to remind God of how much I have done for Him like I have some right for a favor in return. I have wanted to bargain with God for the health of my grandbaby.

However, that's not the way God works. We are saved by grace. We can't earn salvation and we can't earn favor with God by our works. If we love God, we will keep His commandments. (John 14:15) His commandments include feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, taking care of the sick, etc. (Mat. 25:34-46) James says we show our faith by our works. (Jas. 2:18) But, our works don't obligate God to do anything on our behalf and we get into a dangerous mindset if we start to think otherwise, because once again, we have deceived ourselves.

Ultimately, God will show mercy to whom He will show mercy, and will have compassion on whom He will have compassion. (Rom. 9:15) I can fervently pray that He has mercy and compassion on us, but that prayer has to be tempered with "Thy will, not mine, be done." It may be more compassionate for God to take Angelica to place of no suffering than for her to live with severe medical problems. My prayer, of course, is for her to live and to have no long term medical problems but I have to be willing to accept that God is in control.

Sincerely,

Deborah

Leviticus 19:35-37

Leviticus 19:35 "You must not act unfairly in measurements of length, weight, or volume. 36 You are to have honest balances, honest weights, an honest dry measure, and an honest liquid measure; I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt. 37 You must keep all My statutes and all My ordinances and do them; I am the Lord."

Matthew 7:2 "For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

My pastor opened with very similar scriptures to these on Sunday and then commenced to preach a very convicting message. The gist of his message was that we have to have an honest measure when dealing with God. If we say we are praying every day, we need to really be praying every day. If we say we are fasting once a week, we should not be "forgetting" and eating food that day. If we say we are on a daily reading program, it's not all right to catch up the whole week on Saturday. We are going to be measured with the measure we use, and unfortunately, most of us don't give our best very often.

Ouch! That hit where I live. Take prayer for example. I pray quite a bit, but most of the time I'm also doing something else like driving, walking, getting ready for work, waiting for an appointment, etc. I've been counting these bits and pieces of prayer in my total prayer time, but is that an honest measure?

Many of us have had the frustrating experience of trying to talk to someone who is watching television behind you or reading the newspaper. You get the distinct impression that you are not the top priority in that discussion. Occasionally, we will go so far as to throw some nonsense in the conversation to see if the other party even catches it. That must be how God feels when I talk to him while paying attention to my driving! I'm not having a conversation with my Creator, I'm merely "multi-tasking".

Now for the record, I do believe that God hears "arrow prayers", but that certainly does not make me the rich, intercessory, fervent effective prayer warrior that I know God has called me to be. And I truly, with all my heart, mind, soul and strength, want to be what God has called me to be.

So if you discover that you are not giving God an honest measure, what do you do now? You start over. You confess to God that you have gotten off track somewhere along the way. Maybe you readjust your expectations to the reality of your situation. If you can only spend 30 minutes a day in your prayer closet focusing 100% of your attention on Jesus Christ then you tell yourself that you pray 30 minutes a day. That other two hours of multi-tasking are great, but they don't count in the 30 minutes. If you are only reading your Bible 3 times a week, then you don't tell yourself or God that you are reading it every day. The principle is to not be deceived yourself. Once you start being honest with yourself, it will be much easier to be honest with God. Good Luck!

Sincerely,

Deborah

Psalms 4:3

Psalms 4:3 Know that the Lord has set apartthe faithful for Himself; the Lord will hear when I call to Him.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you" -[this is] the Lord's declaration-"plans for [your] welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Tuesday or Wednesday of last week, the fear and depression really started to get hold of me. I would talk to my daughter, tell her everything was all right, God's in control, yada yada, and then hang up the phone and cry. Talking to my pastor, I told him the hardest part was that I felt like I did not have much support at home and really felt like I was carrying the load by myself.

Not 10 minutes after I hung up with him I was walking through the lobby of my building and the owner of a little cafe came out to ask me how Angelica was doing and assure me she was praying for her. I had two or three different people drop me a one or two line e-mail that simply said I'm praying with you.

Friday morning Angelica crashed and had to be put on a ventilator. She did not even try to breath for several hours. She had to be given blood to replace all they were taking for tests and generally was not doing well at all. Our sectional Lady's Conference (which was being hosted at our church) was starting Friday evening and I was pretty frazzled when I got there. The speaker got up and her whole message was on her year old granddaughter who had been born early and with massive problems. Through much prayer and faith, they overcame every one of them and the little girl who was not supposed to walk, talk, see, or hear was shown on tape clapping her hands and praising the Lord, crawling across the floor and ba ba baing just like a normal one year old. As I was praying at the alter, one of my friends came up and said "You must feel pretty special that God would prepare a whole message just for you." I did.

God knows where you are today. He knows the plans He has for you and no matter how bleak the future looks, He has a plan to prosper you if you will just stick with Him. He knew that the message that had been a year in the making would be given at my church on the night I needed to hear it the most. Don't look at the storm today, look at the One who is master of the storm.

Sincerely,

Deborah

Romans 5:2-5

Romans 5:2 (CSB) Also through Him, we have obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, 4 endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. 5 This hope does not disappoint, because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 5:3 (KJV) And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Glorying in tribulation is a hard thing to do. We want our lives to be as easy as possible. No one wants a trial. We especially don't want one that we know is going to go on for awhile. However, as I and many other writers have mentioned before, when things are going smoothly in our lives we don't seem to have the same need for Jesus Christ.

When the storm hits, that's when our prayer time increases. We cry out to the Lord, search the Scriptures for comfort and lean on God to make it through. We ask our church and others for prayer. We look back on other trials (that's the experience) and see that they did eventually end. That experience does give us hope that this too, shall pass.

I am not happy about the current storm in my life. I'm certainly not happy knowing that a) It will get worse and b) it is still going to last at least 3 more months. However, I have had the experience of my daughter being a preemie as well. I have the hope that my granddaughter will end up as strong and healthy as my daughter did, and hopefully, I have the strength of character and endurance to be strong for everyone who depends on me. And I'm sure, when we look back on this 6 or 8 months down the road when the storm clouds have hopefully dissipated and the skies are bright and sunny, I will see what God has built in my life. And in the long run, that is what its all about.

Sincerely,

Deborah

Psalms 139:13-14

Psalms 139:13-14
13 For it was You who created my inward parts;You knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I will praise You,because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.Your works are wonderful, and I know [this] very well.

Job 1:21 saying:Naked I came from my mother's womb,and naked I will leave this life.The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away.Praise the name of the Lord.

Thursday March 9th my daughter was admitted into the hospital in pre-term labor. They managed to hold her off for a few days but on Sunday March 12th my first grandchild, Angelica Marie Lopez was born at 26 weeks gestation, 2 lbs and 14 inches long.

The three days before she was born were a great test of submission. My will said stop the labor! Keep her in there! My mind raced through the possibilities of having a severely medically challenged child. Would she live? Would there be problems?

However, we had to realize that if there was an infection or other reason that she was trying to come early, it would actually be better for her to be born. So ultimately, I had to pray "Lord, let Your will be done."

She was born breathing and has not had to be intubated which is such a miracle that the nursery argued her gestational age. She does have issues with apnea and they may have to do surgery next week to close a valve in her heart, but God has already proven Himself in her life. In doing so, He once again has shown me that He is God. This is a scary, stressful time of trial but I know a God who will stand firm with me, let me cry out to Him and ultimately, hopefully, teach me to trust Him more.

Sincerely,

Deborah